Positive parenting is a natural art every parent has by default. Every Parent has gone through his / her childhood. He or she has enough experience to know how & when a child feels happy & safe, based on his or her childhood period. However, by the time we become parents, we tend to forget the behavioral patterns of our childhood. And, this is the exact gap parents carry while bringing up kids. Unintentionally, simple things become complex.
We must realize that the impact of positive parenting is not limited to children alone but to the entire family. Let us not have the assumption that positive parenting is an “extra” skill to acquire. Rather, take it easy & logically. Be Natural. Understand that every interaction of yours with your children is an opportunity to establish “positive parenting.” This article brings you 11 proven tips that you can apply as a part of parenting. Happiness is guaranteed.
1. Be a Calm Behavior Model for Children.
Be advised that Children learn by observing their parents. Positive parenting involves guiding children with patience and understanding. It demands the use of gentle words and clear instructions. By doing this, you teach them how to handle emotions constructively. Remember, children mimic adults. Be the example you want them to follow. This will foster a peaceful and respectful environment at home. So, think 100 times before you yell at your child. Don’t lose your temper. Always keep in mind that the impact of your behavior will last for a long time in the minds of your children & not the situation for which you were angry for.
Example:
One evening, Tanuja was preparing dinner while her six-year-old son, Santosh, was playing nearby. Suddenly, Santosh accidentally, knocked over a glass of juice, spilling it all over the kitchen floor. At that moment, Tanuja felt a surge of frustration and was about to yell at Santhosh. But, she did something different. Taking a deep breath, Tauja said, “Such things do happen, Santosh. Let us clean up together.” While Santosh was mopping up the mess, Tanuja used the moment to explain how to be more careful next time. On the other hand, seeing his mom’s calm reaction, Santosh apologized and agreed to be more careful next time.
This incident demonstrates the importance of modeling calm behavior. Santosh learned how to handle mistakes without fear, and their bond grew stronger as a result. Tanuja realized that staying composed, for that particular moment, not only diffused a potentially stressful situation but also taught her son valuable lessons in responsibility and emotional control.
2. Encourage Creativity: Guide, Don’t Dictate to Children
Positive parenting involves trusting your child’s abilities. Do you know that children learn better when they explore solutions themselves? Give them the freedom to think and act. You just provide guidance, and watch them find the way. This also strengthens their decision-making skills. Don’t tell your child how to do things. Instead, tell them what to do. This encourages creativity and problem-solving skills. Your child will surprise you with their own ingenious methods. This approach aligns with positive parenting principles.
Example:
Almost daily, Ravi used to instruct Ananya to organize her toys & how to do it. One day, as he was busy, he asked Ananya to do at her own. He was not aware that this would become a turning point. Ananya thought for a moment. Then, she began sorting her toys by color and size. She placed all the small toys in one box and the larger ones on a shelf. She even created labels for each section. Ravi was amazed to see this. He realized her method was different but very effective.
Ravi realized the power of giving clear instructions without dictating the process. Ananya also felt proud of her work as it was appreciated by Ravi and she enjoyed the task too. She showed creativity and problem-solving skills. Ravi learned to trust her abilities and give her more freedom. This clearly shows the importance of guiding, not dictating. Ravi understood that children can find ingenious ways to complete tasks when given the chance.
3. Build Resilience in your child: Don’t Shield him from Life’s Upsets.
Children need to face challenges to grow strong. Take a firm note of this real-life fact. They must learn how to cope and find solutions. Positive parenting involves letting them experience difficulties. It helps them build resilience and confidence. When a problem arises, support them, but don’t solve it for them. Encourage them to think and act. This prepares them for real-life situations. By facing small struggles now, they will be better equipped for bigger ones later. Trust your child’s ability to handle challenges and grow from them. Avoid shielding your child from every upsetting situation. This will make him unfit to handle the reality of life.
Example:
We all know famous cricketer Rahul Dravid is known as “The Wall”. But, do you know that when he did not perform well in school cricket matches, his parents never intervened? Instead, they had encouraged him to learn from his mistakes. Owing to this, Rahul learned to handle disappointments and worked harder. This resilience helped him in his cricket career. He faced many tough situations on the field but never gave up. His ability to stay calm under pressure has made him one of the greatest cricketers. Rahul’s parents’ approach of not shielding him from difficulties taught him to handle the realities of life.
4. Separate Behavior from Child When Disciplining.
When reacting, always focus on what the child did, not who they are. Say, “Eating with dirty hands is not acceptable & can cause pain in the stomach,” instead of, “You are bad.” This helps the child understand that they can change their actions. It protects their self-esteem and encourages better behavior. Always explain why the behavior is wrong. Offer guidance on what to do instead. Show them that they are loved, even when you correct them. This way, they learn to separate their actions from their identity. In this way, when you discipline your child, make it clear that you are condemning the behavior, not the child.
Example:
In a candid interview, Indian actress Deepika Padukone shared her parents’ approach to discipline. When she made mistakes as a child, they always focused on her actions, not her character. For instance, if she forgot to do her homework, they would say, “Forgetting your homework can impact your studies & results,” instead of, “You are irresponsible.” This made Deepika feel understood and motivated to improve. Even when disciplining her, they made sure she knew she was loved unconditionally. This approach has helped Deepika develop a strong sense of responsibility and self-worth. This real-life example highlights the importance of separating behavior from the child when disciplining, fostering positive growth and self-esteem.
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5. Always Offer & Show Love, Not Fear
Always offer encouragement and support to your child. When children feel loved and secure, they are more likely to thrive. Use positive reinforcement to motivate them. Explain why certain actions are important without instilling fear. By fostering a nurturing environment, you help your child grow into a confident and emotionally stable individual. Fear can lead to phobias and emotional imbalance later in life. Instead, focus on love as the key to a child’s healthy development. Show them kindness and understanding.
Example:
Raju & his mother were walking in the market & so was Manoj with his mother. Suddenly, as they saw each other in the market, ran fast to meet leaving Mother behind & crossing the traffic-prone road. It was an emotion-based act by both of them as they wanted to greet each other. Unfortunately, Raju’s mother became very angry & she left Raju in a dark room for half an hour. On the other hand, Manoj’s mother gently but firmly called out to him, explaining the dangers of running into traffic. She patiently waited for him to return, then hugged him close, reaffirming her love and concern for his safety.
Half an hour in the darkroom had a considerable negative impact on Raju’s mind. Even after growing up fully, he used to be fearful while crossing even the lonely roads. On the other hand, Manoj did realize his mistake on the spot owing to the firm behavior of her mother. He never committed this mistake again. Importantly, he never had any Phobia while crossing the road even in full traffic conditions.
6. Respect Your Child: Self-Esteem Matters
Every child, regardless of age or physical stature, deserves respect. Parents must acknowledge their self-esteem and feelings. Listen to them attentively and validate their emotions. Avoid belittling or dismissing their thoughts and opinions. Encourage open communication and mutual understanding. By respecting your child, you foster trust and strengthen your relationship. This approach builds a supportive environment where children feel valued and empowered to express themselves confidently. Respect the viewpoint of your child. In case he/she does not agree with any of your thoughts, this does not mean argumental behavior. It means he/she has a different angle to look at.
Example:
Mr. and Mrs. Patel once encountered a challenging situation. Their car broke down in a remote area. With no immediate help available, they decided to involve their children, Riya and Aryan, in brainstorming solutions. Riya suggested using a mobile phone to call for roadside assistance. Aryan proposed checking the car’s manual for troubleshooting tips. Mr. and Mrs. Patel appreciated their children’s input and together, as a family, they successfully resolved the situation by calling for assistance and following the manual’s instructions to temporarily fix the car. This experience not only strengthened the bond between the family members but also empowered the children, demonstrating the value of open communication.
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7. Lead by Example: Do not hesitate to Apologize and Be Humble
Positive parenting involves showing rather than just telling. Remember, you are their role model. Your actions speak louder than words. By apologizing and showing humility, you teach your child valuable lessons in empathy and respect. This approach cultivates a compassionate and understanding attitude in your child towards others and themselves. To teach your child to accept mistakes, start with your apology to improve your behavioral pattern. You must be humble with household servants, drivers, maids, gardeners, etc. Your daily communication style with people around you is followed by your children. Be aware of it.
Example:
Let us reiterate the real-life story of Mr. Poonawalla, a prominent businessman. When his old driver passed away, Mr. Poonawalla didn’t just offer condolences; he took action. Despite his busy schedule, Mr. Poonawalla drove his own car to transport his grieving driver to the funeral. He requested that the driver’s family allow him to drive the car. He mentioned that throughout his life, his driver had made all efforts for him & now it is his turn. This act of humility and compassion deeply touched everyone who witnessed it.
Mr. Poonawalla’s gesture not only showed empathy toward his driver’s loss but also taught a powerful lesson to his children to be humble. This real-life example underscores the significance of leading by example in fostering positive values and behaviors in children.
8. Respect Teachers: Nurture Your Child’s Learning
Be informed that when parents ridicule a teacher’s capabilities or authority, the child loses trust and stops listening. People often tend to comment like, “Your teacher does not know anything.” This negatively impacts their learning journey. Instead, foster a supportive relationship between your child and their teacher. Parents must encourage open communication and respect for authority figures. By demonstrating reverence for teachers, parents can set a positive example. This creates an environment conducive to learning and growth for children. Keep in mind you are not establishing negativity about a teacher but you are teaching your kid to disrespect authorities.
Example:
Mrs. Sharma attended a half-yearly parent-teacher meeting at her son’s school. During the meeting, some parents began criticizing the teacher’s teaching methods and competence. Mrs. Sharma noticed her son’s discomfort and silence. Later that evening, she gently asked her son about his thoughts on his teacher. He admitted feeling demotivated and unsure about learning from someone his parents criticized. Mrs. Sharma & other parents realized the impact of their words on her son’s attitude towards learning. She realized & decided to change her approach, speaking respectfully about the teacher (authorities) in front of her son.
9. Empower Your Child: Decision-Making and Courage.
It’s crucial to teach your child how to make sound decisions. However, equally important is instilling the courage to handle life when decisions don’t go as planned. We have to encourage our children to learn from mistakes and face challenges with resilience. We must help them understand that setbacks are opportunities for growth. Also, we have to empower our children to make choices confidently and navigate life’s ups and downs with courage and determination. This way we have to cultivate a resilient mindset, preparing children for success and fulfillment in the future.
Example:
We can not have a better example than Ratan Tata to demonstrate to our children. When Tata Motors faced challenges with the Nano project, a venture aimed at producing the world’s cheapest car, Ratan Tata displayed resilience. Despite setbacks and criticism, he courageously faced the situation head-on. Tata Motors encountered difficulties, including production delays and safety concerns. However, Ratan Tata took responsibility, addressing the issues transparently and making tough decisions, such as relocating the Nano factory. And, we all know the history & success of Nano Car. His leadership showcased the importance of not only making decisions but also having the courage to navigate through adversity.
10. Patience Makes the Difference.
Having patience is crucial for effective parenting. Positive parenting emphasizes the value of patience in nurturing children. When feeling frustrated, take a moment to recall your own childhood experiences. Reflecting on your past helps you empathize with your child’s emotions and challenges. By pausing and practicing patience, you create a supportive environment for your child’s growth and development. Remember, patience allows you to respond calmly and positively, fostering a strong and loving bond with your child. This approach cultivates mutual respect and understanding, laying the foundation for a fulfilling parent-child relationship.
Example:
In a heartwarming real-life example, Indian cricketer Sarfaraz Khan and his father have demonstrated the power of patience in parenting. We all know, Sarfaraz, known for his talent in cricket, has faced challenges early in his career. But, during difficult times, his father, Naushad Khan, remained patient and supportive. Instead of pressuring Sarfaraz to perform, Naushad patiently nurtured his son’s talent, providing guidance and encouragement. Despite setbacks, he believed in Sarfaraz’s abilities and remained steadfast in his support.
This patience and unwavering belief eventually paid off when Sarfaraz showcased his cricketing prowess on the international stage. Naushad’s patience and support were instrumental in shaping Sarfaraz’s successful cricketing career, demonstrating how patience can make all the difference in effective parenting. Read more information on this here.
11. Accept & Respect Your Child’s Growing Independence.
As the child grows, they’ll naturally spend more time with TV, friends, and interests like clothing. We were also the same, right? Positive parenting involves accepting and respecting these evolving needs. Understand that it doesn’t diminish your presence or importance. Instead, it’s part of their development towards independence. However, ensure they don’t become addicted to TV and mobile devices. Monitor their screen time and encourage balanced activities. By maintaining open communication and setting healthy boundaries, you guide them toward responsible behavior while nurturing a strong parent-child bond.
Example:
Priya noticed her teenage daughter, Aisha, spending more time with her friends and on social media than with her family. It was a time when Aisha had just finished her 10th-grade exam. Initially, Priya thought she was getting sidelined but with a logical approach, she accepted the behavioral change. She understood that Aisha was now growing up & needed independence, at least up to some extent. Instead of feeling neglected, Priya took proactive steps. She initiated regular family outings and conversations to stay connected with Aisha.
Priya also encouraged Aisha to pursue her interests while setting reasonable limits on screen time. Through this approach, Priya had maintained a strong bond with Aisha while ensuring she didn’t become overly dependent on technology. This experience highlights the importance of accepting changing needs while guiding children towards healthy habits.
Conclusion:
I hope you have discovered the joys of positive parenting through these tips & real-life examples. Let us understand, agree & support your child’s growth and evolving needs. Let’s cultivate strong bonds while nurturing independence. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Together, let’s create a supportive community of empowered parents. Your journey towards positive parenting begins now.
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